Little Things

We, as Muslims, tend to focus on big things, big important things like salah, and zakat and saum which are all extremely extremely important but its also important that we spend some time remembering the little things that are part of a Muslim's character or akhlaq. Here are some of the 'little things', simple not hard to do rules to add to your daily life to improve our aklaqh:

Be Kind 
Be Honest
Be Genrous
Be Thankful 


Today, its as if these basic, most basic of manners and rules have vanished. We've lost hayaa' in our speech. We've lost the etiquette on how to properly address our own brothers and sisters. We, as an Ummah, are becoming more and more harsh with one another.We claim to love the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam and we claim to follow his sunnah, but then we publicly humiliate our own brethern. We publicly pass rude, offensive comments by them. We slander our own blood, we curse them, we eat their flesh through our words.What kind of love is that?


Sometimes when it comes to Islamic work or community activism whether it may be at school or masajid or MSA’s, I’ve noticed that some people think that being harsh and rude and assertive
is the way to change, that being harsh is the way to create change but wrong.
Allah is telling his Messenger, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam in Surah Ali-Imran that,
“So by mercy from Allah , [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].”[3:159] 
Allah is reminding his Messenger, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam that the people would leave if he had been rude and harsh. When Allah is telling this to the most perfect of creation, where do you think we stand?


Our Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam, was so kind even to those that threw trash at him, how do we justify creating just rifts with our own bretheren? When someone is going through something tough, why do we feel like we need to make them feel stupid cause we don’t see things like that? Why do feel like we need to make someone feel inferior if our levels of religiosity are not the same? Why are we always so harsh, so jerk-like when Islam should make us soft, should make our hearts soft which should reflect from us?


This issue of akhlaq is something that we set aside, and don't stress too much but bad manners, bad character is a huge issue. We think that this is ‘extra’ but actually it is essential. It’s a foundation for who we are. This matter of Akhlaq is so so so important supported by so many hadiths but we are mistaken when we think that this is just extra. If we are rude to people, if we are offensive, if we are mean, if we hurt other people's feelings, we actually create more difficulties for ourselves than we may think. The thing is, when your hurt someone else, when you gossip about someone else, when you sin that involves someone else like backbiting about that person, you are not forgiven unless that person forgives you. So you actually make it more difficult on yourself.


At some point or another, our bad manners may catch up to us. The journey of the hereafter is a long journey...there is the grave, the test, the bridge, and the place right before the gates of Jannah where all the people we've every wronged will be there and they will start taking from your good deeds and if your good deeds get bankrupt, then they start giving their bad deeds to us, SubhanAllah what a scary scary thought. We need to watch what we say and be very careful not to offend of belittle or hurt our brothers and sisters. May Allah protect us from getting bankrupt from our good deeds. 


It's really not hard to be nice. It's sometimes hard to tell the truth but honesty is always the best way out, though it may not be the easiest. Be generous, always give a little even if its just a smile, hey, its sunnah :) And always, always be grateful to the Creator of you and I and May Allah help us in developing good akhlaq and forgive us for our misdeeds. 
 

Parental Jihad

We all somehow kind of know the definition of the term Jihad by now. No, not the terrifying definition of "holy war" that gets pushed at us from the media, but the actual haq, the true definition of: Struggle.

For many of us sisters, wearing a hijab can be a type of jihad, or struggle. Peer pressure can be a struggle. Balancing our priorities can be a struggle. But sometimes the toughest jihad for us can be with the ones that are the closest to us- our parents.

Our creator tells us in the Quran that, "...We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination." [31:14]

Respect to our parents can be a huge test for us. Many of our parents may not be born and raised here, so the culture clashes, the societal differences, and the difference in mindsets can create an environment of hostility and hinder the ties with our parents.

Before we really delve into this more, there are some main points across the board that are the reason behind the rift that begins between children and their parents

Common Issues that cause trouble between parents and children:

§  Culture Clash: For many children, especially in the west, our parents were immigrants, they weren't born here, they had to come from overseas and establish a whole new lifestyle and adapted to a whole new setting, which in and of itself can be extremely difficult. So while they were still trying to create a 'back home' environment here, we were trying to create a 'this home' environment here, creating a clash of cultures, that sometimes leads to little squirmishes between our families.

§  Wavering levels of Religiosity: Sometimes, when we become closer to the Deen, and our parents or the people around us are not taking the same journey, we get annoyed we get frustrated we, sometimes, out of our own arrogance become angry. The wavering levels of religiosity sometimes make us think that its okay to mistreat our parents or talk down to them etc when rather religiosity and getting closer to the Deen should mend the gaps and heal the cracks. 

§  Lack of Communication

Example of Ibrahim (alayhisalam)

§  In terms of the issue of wavering religiosity, the life of Prophet Ibrahim, alayhisalam provides a great example.  Prophet Ibrahim, alayhisalam's father was an idol maker and who was Prophet Ibrahim? A messenger of Allah. Right off the bat, you can see the extreme levels of religiosity. This is not the common day 'you are doing bid'ah" stuff, this was idol worship, clear out polytheism versus Islam, one creator, One God. Even though his dad was the one who made the idols, Prophet Ibrahim, alayisalam approaches his father in a calm and compassionate manner. He doesn't approach him screaming or yelling, he approaches him by saying 'My Dear father...' He approaches his father with humbleness, trying to tell him and explain to him nicely, calmly how illogical idol worship. Prophet Ibrahim, alayhisalam was a PROPHET, yet when he speaks to his father he tells him that “with the LITTLE bit of knowledge that Allah has given me” this worshipping idols doesnt seem right. Humility & Humbleness!

§  Even when his father kicks him out, he doesn’t throw a tantrum. The reply is calm and forgiving.

Solutions:

§  Love & Compassion always. 

§  Do a small thing for your parents every week whether it may be as simple as a hug or washing dishes- something that makes them happy.

§  For those that don’t live with your parents- always keep in touch. Call them at least once a day. (tell Trinity story)

§  Pray together –(…the family that prays together is less prone to suicide, depression, and other problems) -Wisam Sharieff

§  Always be mindful of them. Remember Allah when you are about to sin but if you are not or if your taqwa is not there, remember your Parents and through that maybe you’ll remember Allah. Some teens when they come to that age where all they want to do is rebel don't really care what Islam says regarding this or that, they just want to do it. Because they're not taught to love Allah, not taught to get to know Allah, they don't bring Allah to mind when committing sins. However, most of these same teens parents would probably have a heart attack if they knew what their children really did and so for those that don't remember Allah, remember how that sin you might be about to commit, imagine how hard it may hit your mom or your dad, and may through this remembrance, you may remember Allah. In reality, it should be Allah's remembrance that brings about remembrance of your parents, but for those that don't have a relationship with Allah, mend the relationship with your Creator first and then be mindful of your parents, who have such a huge role in your upbringing. 

Reminder to ourselves first, inshaa'Allah. 

Mission Sisterhood: Role Models

Bismillah…

Today we make everyone else our role models, what do we see today?

We have Muslims fantasizing and obsessing over people who at this moment are of no benefit to mankind. What has Justin Beiber done for humanity? What has Beyonce done for you society? What benefit do you receive from following the liking of Lebron James?

Nothing. It is sad to see our ummah obsess over these people when we have the best of humanity to look up to. We have the greatest Prophet Muhammad (sws) who with the Quran and command of Allah brought light to all of humanity. We have Abu Bakr (R) who was not some muscle bound meat head that many of our Muslim brothers look up to but was As-Sadeeq and promised paradise. We have the modesty of Mariam, the courageousness of Khadija, the trust of Asiya, and the wisdom of Aisha. Yet we choose to look up to half naked gyrating women who have no impact on society.

The thing is today we follow people because of their looks and their popularity not because of their character or moralistic attributes. We don’t but the ladt name “bieber” on all of our things because Justin Bieber is a trustworthy individual but because he is attractive and famous. Boys don’t look up to gangsters because they are good people but so they can put on an image that they are “strong”. Girls don’t follow the most popular girl in school because she is a good person but because she is popular. All of these qualities of people are dunya based things, things that go nowhere in the sight of Allah and our meaningless on the Day of Judgment.

Of course, there is a mizan, not every non-muslim is meaningless to society, look at Lance Armstrong, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Steve Jobs, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, there are many to go around, but lets be honest with each other, we are not looking up to the likes of Bill Gates or Oprah, we are looking up to Kim Kardashian and Kobe Brayant.  And here is some food for thought,

The only thing promised to us is our death, nothing else, so we must prepare for it, so why not have the role models of those promised jannah.

Jannah is our one and only goal, inshallah.