Bismillah ir Rahman nir Raheem.
I used to be a mess.
I used to be ignorant.
I used to call myself a "Muslim" but I never knew the definition of it.
I never knew the beauty of Islam. I never knew Allah.
I never used to love Allah but Allah never stopped loving me.
I never used to praise Allah yet he still fed me, kept a shelter over my head, always surrounded me with blessings after blessings.
I never used to remember Allah but everyday he remembered me by giving me more time to change.
I used to never pray.
It was a big thing if I picked up the Quran after months, even years.
I seldom used to fast.
I used to be a slave to my desires.
I used to be a slave to the dunya.
I used to go right if it was "in" to go right.
I used to go left if it was "in" to go left.
I used to just want to please the creation
I used to just wanna be accepted by the creation
But I never used to think who created that creation that I was so adamant to please.
So why wasn't I pleasing him first?
I used to be the worst of the worst to my parents.
I used to argue, I used to bicker, I used to yell.
I never tried to understand the person who bore me through pain and hardships for nine months.
I never tried to understand the person that supported me financially so that I slept soundly under a roof.
But worst of all, I never tried to understand the only diety, the only creator of all.
I used to search endlessly for happiness.
I used to look for it in friends that ended up leaving me several months later.
I used to look for it in sweet talk that became poison soon after.
I used to look for it in music, in movies, in the dunya.
I was always in a state of unease, in a state of restlessness, in a state of discomfort.
Little did I know, that happiness, eternal bliss, lies in Jannah not the dunya.
I used to be all this but still Allah never gave up on me.
Allah opened up doors of mercy from places that I never knew.
Allah opened opportunities for knowledge that I never expected.
Allah softened my heart to his message, to his deen, to his book.
Allah's mercy reached me through my depths of sin and he blessed with the knowledge of his Deen.
And through that knowledge, my life was changed forever.
With that change came strength.
With that change came the consciousness of prayer, of Quran, of Saum, of Islam.
With that change came iman, came taqwa, came tawakkul.
With that came came hijab, came modesty, came humbleness.
With that change, came love for my parents.
With that change, the fights ended, the arguments died down, the pain stopped.
With that change, I learned to stop crying over dunya matters but instead crying for Jannah, for Allah's mercy, and Allah's forgiveness.
With that change, came satisfaction and content in every state!
Through Allah came comfort, came ease, came stability, came patience, and came happiness.
Today, I laid in my mother's arms and had almost an hour long, conversation.
By the end it struck me how a year ago, even a couple months ago, this would be unimaginable to me.
It made me realize how far Allah has brought me- from the depths of my sins to the beauty of iman.
Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdullilah!
Ya Rab, I cannot thank you enough, Ya Rab, you are the most merciful, the most gracious.
Ya Rab, I am nothing but flesh and bones made from clay but You are the creator of all things.
Ya Rab, Alahmdullilah for never giving up on me, Praise be to you alone who has allowed me to come this far.
Ya Rab, I am ashamed. Ya Rab, forgive me for my sins.
Ya Rab, shed your mercy on me, on us, on the Day of Judgment.
Ya Rab, bless us all with understanding of deen, with knowledge, and keep our hearts humbled and strong in your faith.
Ya Rab, make our good deeds heavy on the scale.
Ya Rab, keep us all on as-Sirat al Mustakeem!
Ya Rab, bless us with Jannat al-Firdaus and keep us far from the hell fire!
Ya Rab, forgive us all for all faults and short comings and keep us occupied in your remembrance.
Ya Rab, give us sabr to get through this temporary dunya, and inshAllah allow us to be in your shade in the hereafter!
Ameen!
-Razz :)
I used to be a mess.
I used to be ignorant.
I used to call myself a "Muslim" but I never knew the definition of it.
I never knew the beauty of Islam. I never knew Allah.
I never used to love Allah but Allah never stopped loving me.
I never used to praise Allah yet he still fed me, kept a shelter over my head, always surrounded me with blessings after blessings.
I never used to remember Allah but everyday he remembered me by giving me more time to change.
I used to never pray.
It was a big thing if I picked up the Quran after months, even years.
I seldom used to fast.
I used to be a slave to my desires.
I used to be a slave to the dunya.
I used to go right if it was "in" to go right.
I used to go left if it was "in" to go left.
I used to just want to please the creation
I used to just wanna be accepted by the creation
But I never used to think who created that creation that I was so adamant to please.
So why wasn't I pleasing him first?
I used to be the worst of the worst to my parents.
I used to argue, I used to bicker, I used to yell.
I never tried to understand the person who bore me through pain and hardships for nine months.
I never tried to understand the person that supported me financially so that I slept soundly under a roof.
But worst of all, I never tried to understand the only diety, the only creator of all.
I used to search endlessly for happiness.
I used to look for it in friends that ended up leaving me several months later.
I used to look for it in sweet talk that became poison soon after.
I used to look for it in music, in movies, in the dunya.
I was always in a state of unease, in a state of restlessness, in a state of discomfort.
Little did I know, that happiness, eternal bliss, lies in Jannah not the dunya.
I used to be scared of the idea of hijab.
I used to fear people's reaction and words.
I used to be a showpiece; I used to not understand modesty.
But, yet, Allah's mercy opened the idea of hijab to me.
Allah gave me the strength, Allah gave me the ability, Allah gave me the courage.
I used to be all this but still Allah never gave up on me.
Allah opened up doors of mercy from places that I never knew.
Allah opened opportunities for knowledge that I never expected.
Allah softened my heart to his message, to his deen, to his book.
Allah's mercy reached me through my depths of sin and he blessed with the knowledge of his Deen.
And through that knowledge, my life was changed forever.
With that change came strength.
With that change came the consciousness of prayer, of Quran, of Saum, of Islam.
With that change came iman, came taqwa, came tawakkul.
With that came came hijab, came modesty, came humbleness.
With that change, came love for my parents.
With that change, the fights ended, the arguments died down, the pain stopped.
With that change, I learned to stop crying over dunya matters but instead crying for Jannah, for Allah's mercy, and Allah's forgiveness.
With that change, came satisfaction and content in every state!
Through Allah came comfort, came ease, came stability, came patience, and came happiness.
Today, I laid in my mother's arms and had almost an hour long, conversation.
By the end it struck me how a year ago, even a couple months ago, this would be unimaginable to me.
It made me realize how far Allah has brought me- from the depths of my sins to the beauty of iman.
Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdullilah!
Ya Rab, I cannot thank you enough, Ya Rab, you are the most merciful, the most gracious.
Ya Rab, I am nothing but flesh and bones made from clay but You are the creator of all things.
Ya Rab, Alahmdullilah for never giving up on me, Praise be to you alone who has allowed me to come this far.
Ya Rab, I am ashamed. Ya Rab, forgive me for my sins.
Ya Rab, shed your mercy on me, on us, on the Day of Judgment.
Ya Rab, bless us all with understanding of deen, with knowledge, and keep our hearts humbled and strong in your faith.
Ya Rab, make our good deeds heavy on the scale.
Ya Rab, keep us all on as-Sirat al Mustakeem!
Ya Rab, bless us with Jannat al-Firdaus and keep us far from the hell fire!
Ya Rab, forgive us all for all faults and short comings and keep us occupied in your remembrance.
Ya Rab, give us sabr to get through this temporary dunya, and inshAllah allow us to be in your shade in the hereafter!
Ameen!
Abu Dharr Ghifari related that Rasulullah (saws) said: Allah, who is Lord of Glory says: “The person who does one good deed shall be given ten rewards, or even more. The person who does one evil deed shall be given only one punishment, or I shall forgive him. When someone comes a hand’s width closer to Me, I come an arm’s length closer to him. When someone comes an arm’s length closer to Me, I come two arms’ length closer to him. When someone comes towards Me walking, I come to him running. And when someone comes to Me with as many sins as the whole world could contain, I come to him with as much forgiveness as that.” [Muslim]
-Razz :)
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