"Summer Fling vs. Soul Mate"

Summer Fling vs. Soul-Mate

What is a summer fling?

            A summer fling is an instant satisfactory limited gift for our need for love. A summer fling is temporary and primarily based on attraction more than capability.  

Examples?

-middle school boyfriend

-the guy from the summer camp

-the “religious” guy from the conference

-your high school soul mate

What are the main connections between all of these?

They are temporary, not soul mate potential and based primarily on looks.  

Good vs. Evil

Although we are making this temporary life partner sound horrible and makes you question, who would want temporary happiness?  BUT there is a reason why people do it, there is some presumed “good” in it. Every human being wants to be loved, and yearns for love and when we get it, we become intoxicated. A heart that is in love is intoxicated. We are blind and engulfed in happiness. Everything is amazing. This is the nly good from these relationships, happiness but it is a blind and temporary happiness.

Now on to the evil…

Do you really think you are going to marry someone you met in middle school? Or even high school? You are only 13, 14, 15 years old, the chances are slim. And do you think Allah will bless a relationship that began from haram?

If we look back at the first relationship between man a woman, their relationship was not founded on just a simple attraction, take the good only and as soon as something bad happens, you just leave and move on-which is pretty much the essence of what a summer fling is. Marriage, this concept of ‘soul mates’ is much more beautiful, much more modest that what it is has become in the light of movies today.

The first love in humanity was between a husband and wife. The first relationship of Adam and Eve was described by Allah to be one in which tranquility was found amongst one another.  Allah does not describe a relationship as something that is superficial, something based on looks, something that is just for ‘fun’ and temporary. Allah describes marriage with the word ‘zawj.’

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [30:21]

Marriage is something whose purpose is to find tranquility with one another- with rahma. Gender relations are only through this bond, only through this relationship and every other means becomes ‘haram’.

To some people, it seems so weird to get married and THEN fall in love when everyone and everything around you tells you that love comes first and then marriage. But the biggest benefit is accepting the good and bad. In a summer fling, its all good and fun. You are intoxicated by attraction, it consumes you in a way. All you think about is the good of that person and as soon as some kind of commitment or responsibility comes along, people leave each other. You see it all the time. Whether its through cheating or whether its through a random baby that comes around. You probably have seen teen mom in which the guy leaves or most guys leave as soon as a baby comes into the picture. Reason being? Responsibility.

When you get married, when you find a soul mate, it’s a stable bond that automatically comes with responsibility. You don’t know every little thing about the person, so it keeps building and you grow and learn together. There is responsibility involved, the mahr, the obligations of each spouse on the other.

If you take a glimpe at the Prophet’s relationship with Aisha, salla Allahu alayhi waslam, you’ll realize the light, fun relationship and bond they had. If you look at his relationship with his first wife, Khadija, you’ll notice the level of trust and the relationship of a best friend.

So would you rather choose something temporary, that ends really quick with people hurt or would you rather choose something that will actually last, living in rahma, mercy, and compassion amongst one another.