Parental Jihad

We all somehow kind of know the definition of the term Jihad by now. No, not the terrifying definition of "holy war" that gets pushed at us from the media, but the actual haq, the true definition of: Struggle.

For many of us sisters, wearing a hijab can be a type of jihad, or struggle. Peer pressure can be a struggle. Balancing our priorities can be a struggle. But sometimes the toughest jihad for us can be with the ones that are the closest to us- our parents.

Our creator tells us in the Quran that, "...We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination." [31:14]

Respect to our parents can be a huge test for us. Many of our parents may not be born and raised here, so the culture clashes, the societal differences, and the difference in mindsets can create an environment of hostility and hinder the ties with our parents.

Before we really delve into this more, there are some main points across the board that are the reason behind the rift that begins between children and their parents

Common Issues that cause trouble between parents and children:

§  Culture Clash: For many children, especially in the west, our parents were immigrants, they weren't born here, they had to come from overseas and establish a whole new lifestyle and adapted to a whole new setting, which in and of itself can be extremely difficult. So while they were still trying to create a 'back home' environment here, we were trying to create a 'this home' environment here, creating a clash of cultures, that sometimes leads to little squirmishes between our families.

§  Wavering levels of Religiosity: Sometimes, when we become closer to the Deen, and our parents or the people around us are not taking the same journey, we get annoyed we get frustrated we, sometimes, out of our own arrogance become angry. The wavering levels of religiosity sometimes make us think that its okay to mistreat our parents or talk down to them etc when rather religiosity and getting closer to the Deen should mend the gaps and heal the cracks. 

§  Lack of Communication

Example of Ibrahim (alayhisalam)

§  In terms of the issue of wavering religiosity, the life of Prophet Ibrahim, alayhisalam provides a great example.  Prophet Ibrahim, alayhisalam's father was an idol maker and who was Prophet Ibrahim? A messenger of Allah. Right off the bat, you can see the extreme levels of religiosity. This is not the common day 'you are doing bid'ah" stuff, this was idol worship, clear out polytheism versus Islam, one creator, One God. Even though his dad was the one who made the idols, Prophet Ibrahim, alayisalam approaches his father in a calm and compassionate manner. He doesn't approach him screaming or yelling, he approaches him by saying 'My Dear father...' He approaches his father with humbleness, trying to tell him and explain to him nicely, calmly how illogical idol worship. Prophet Ibrahim, alayhisalam was a PROPHET, yet when he speaks to his father he tells him that “with the LITTLE bit of knowledge that Allah has given me” this worshipping idols doesnt seem right. Humility & Humbleness!

§  Even when his father kicks him out, he doesn’t throw a tantrum. The reply is calm and forgiving.

Solutions:

§  Love & Compassion always. 

§  Do a small thing for your parents every week whether it may be as simple as a hug or washing dishes- something that makes them happy.

§  For those that don’t live with your parents- always keep in touch. Call them at least once a day. (tell Trinity story)

§  Pray together –(…the family that prays together is less prone to suicide, depression, and other problems) -Wisam Sharieff

§  Always be mindful of them. Remember Allah when you are about to sin but if you are not or if your taqwa is not there, remember your Parents and through that maybe you’ll remember Allah. Some teens when they come to that age where all they want to do is rebel don't really care what Islam says regarding this or that, they just want to do it. Because they're not taught to love Allah, not taught to get to know Allah, they don't bring Allah to mind when committing sins. However, most of these same teens parents would probably have a heart attack if they knew what their children really did and so for those that don't remember Allah, remember how that sin you might be about to commit, imagine how hard it may hit your mom or your dad, and may through this remembrance, you may remember Allah. In reality, it should be Allah's remembrance that brings about remembrance of your parents, but for those that don't have a relationship with Allah, mend the relationship with your Creator first and then be mindful of your parents, who have such a huge role in your upbringing. 

Reminder to ourselves first, inshaa'Allah. 

Mission Sisterhood: Role Models

Bismillah…

Today we make everyone else our role models, what do we see today?

We have Muslims fantasizing and obsessing over people who at this moment are of no benefit to mankind. What has Justin Beiber done for humanity? What has Beyonce done for you society? What benefit do you receive from following the liking of Lebron James?

Nothing. It is sad to see our ummah obsess over these people when we have the best of humanity to look up to. We have the greatest Prophet Muhammad (sws) who with the Quran and command of Allah brought light to all of humanity. We have Abu Bakr (R) who was not some muscle bound meat head that many of our Muslim brothers look up to but was As-Sadeeq and promised paradise. We have the modesty of Mariam, the courageousness of Khadija, the trust of Asiya, and the wisdom of Aisha. Yet we choose to look up to half naked gyrating women who have no impact on society.

The thing is today we follow people because of their looks and their popularity not because of their character or moralistic attributes. We don’t but the ladt name “bieber” on all of our things because Justin Bieber is a trustworthy individual but because he is attractive and famous. Boys don’t look up to gangsters because they are good people but so they can put on an image that they are “strong”. Girls don’t follow the most popular girl in school because she is a good person but because she is popular. All of these qualities of people are dunya based things, things that go nowhere in the sight of Allah and our meaningless on the Day of Judgment.

Of course, there is a mizan, not every non-muslim is meaningless to society, look at Lance Armstrong, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Steve Jobs, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, there are many to go around, but lets be honest with each other, we are not looking up to the likes of Bill Gates or Oprah, we are looking up to Kim Kardashian and Kobe Brayant.  And here is some food for thought,

The only thing promised to us is our death, nothing else, so we must prepare for it, so why not have the role models of those promised jannah.

Jannah is our one and only goal, inshallah.  

Our Masajid are Empty

Bismillah ir Rahman nir Raheem

Assalamalaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh 

A couple of years ago, the fundraising started for a masjid in our city. Thousands and thousands of dollars were contributed, may Allah reward all those that participitated in building his home. Then started the construction. And a while later was the opening and we moved from the cramped, stuffy school house that was the original "masjid" to this huge masjid, double stories mashaa’Allah with an elevator and tons of space which is a huge blessing from Allah.

 For some reason it seems that more people came when it was still a school house but now that the work is done, its like you wipe our hands off, pat yourself on the shoulder, your work to building it is done and now you leave. You have done your part here. For most of us, because we’re usually broke college students or teenagers, we didn’t play as active of a role as our parents did. They were the ones who donated the money and we just came and sat there as the shaykh was yelling at the top of his lungs, right?

 But I think many of us fail to realize that at this age, our relationship with the masjid might not be monetary, it might not be huge sums of donations, but we have much more important role, we have a much more important status- we are the carriers of this home when our elders leave. We, the youth, we the young and the active, our age gives us a lot of benefit and potential- sounds cliché, but after all the elders pass away, we are the carriers, we are future, it may be our kids that will be coming here. But without us having a connection with this masjid, without us having a relationship with Allah’s home, there may not even be a future to the masajids across the nation. And I’m not just talking about this masjid, it’s every masjid here in town. Its not just attendance at this masjid, its any one of the masajid across the nation. 

When we have a negative view of the masjid, how are we expected to be the torch bearers? When parents and their children are leaving cause of gossip and backbiting and drama with this person or that person, how can we expect a future? How is that possible?

The masjid’s originial role was a focal point, a central place in everyone’s life but that role has disappeared. But now, we’d choose the mall over the masjid any day right? Most of us would go to the movies rather than come to the masjid Friday night to hear a halaqa? Most of us would rather be anywhere but the masjid. But Why is it like this? What’s the cause?

Discussion Question: What are some reaons that you guys think that the role of the masjid is pretty much disappearing?

We have an extremely negative view of the masjid. We have this view that if we have a problem, or we need to talk, the first place to not go is the masjid. So I’m going try to present a story right now. Today, if one of us got into a fight or something, if we got into a fight, or we were going through something, some kind of hardship, just got into an argument with our parents, what to you normally do? Most of us would probably go grab some ice cream, post a status on facebook, sleep, but the masjid would be the last place we’d think of going right?

Well hear this, subhanAllah it’s pretty awesome. Ali ibn Talib and Fatima (may Allah have mercy on them), the daughter of Rasulullah, salla Allahu alayhi waslam, and her husband got into a fight. And apparently this was like a full fledged marital fight where they were screaming and everything at each other. And Ali, radiallahuanh, got angry and he left the house and where do you think he went? He went to the masjid. So he went to the masjid and laid down and just slept. He didn’t start praying or anything he just laid down and slept. Talk about seeking comfort in the masjid. And Rasulullah, salla Allahu alayhi wasalam came later and they talked about this and there was a counseling session that took place right there at the masjid. But today, the masjid would be the last place many of us would think of coming to seek refuge. But truth is, this place holds a lot of Baraka, a lot of blessing. Angels surround the masjids, it is quiet here for the most part, and it’s a good place to calm your mind- its a good place for reflection. 

Back then, The masjid used to play a lot of roles but today, we’ve seen a lot of those roles disappear because we haven’t taken part in helping it play those roles.

Just some cool facts about the different roles that there used to be:

-the masjid served as the central focal point of prayer, but we all knew this

-it served as the focal point of education, the main point of decisions was decided at the masjid.

-the masjid served as a resting place for non-Muslims. Some of us may think that non-muslims aren’t allowed blah blah blah, but back then, a caravan came with a group of Christians, and they rested at the masjid.

-the masjid served as a clinic, where people who had cysts, and glaucomas came and got treatment. A little part of the masjid was portioned off for the clinic. And even today, to follow that example there is a masjid on the West Coast, where they provide free check ups and treatment at the masjid all week to Muslims and on Fridays, they open it up to non-Muslims too and about 75 non muslims come every Friday and in exchange they just give five mintues of their time in which they are told about Islam. Dawah by Action!

-the masjid was the place where a drunken guy came to sober up. Yeah, a drunken guy had come to the masjid to sober up.

PART II.

All these roles that the masjid served is amazing. But today the masjid is here only when we need it. We come to Allah’s home only when we need it. We come to Allah only when we need him.

And from this, we’re gonna branch on to the second part of our talk: coming to Allah only by necessity.

This situation is best understood by presenting an analogy that is relevant to all of us. Many of us are students, and you know when you have that one classmate who like never comes to class and then everytime the test comes around they call you up asking for help. They may never talk to you but all of a sudden when they need something, they talk to you. In this situation, you can't help but feel frustrated or used. This person only talks to you when they need you. 

Now this isn’t a human that you’re using, this is Allah, your creator, the one who sustains you, and yet you only come to him when you need him, yet he isn’t in need of us but still feeds us, still wakes us up after sleep, still keeps our hearts beating. SubhanAllah, there is something wrong, so so wrong with that. Allah does not NEED to do anything for us, He subhana wa ta'ala sustains us and provides us with his mercy regardless. But we, the ones who need Allah the most, the ones who need his mercy the most, the one whose entire purpose of existence is to remain close to our Rab, when we as the poorest of creation only come to him by necessity, we are only creating a deep pit for our own selves.

Another reason for this dilemma, is the lack of care, simply and plainly put. A lack of connection with Allah leads to a lack of connection with the masjid. When you start to not care about your salah, or dua', or any act of worship, why would you care about coming to the masjid? It wouldn't seem important to you. And everywhere you look, this lack of care has spread. Look around you, people are like in a trance, living life without purpose. You do this, and that and that then repeat. This is due to lack of reflection, when you realize you have a purpose, you start to care. When you start to care that there will be a day when you will be accounted for everything, when you start to care that you will have to face your Rab, slowly you will start to care more about things, surely you'll feel the need to attach yourselves to things and places that Allah loves.

"[Such niches are] in mosques which Allah has ordered to be raised and that His name be mentioned therein; exalting Him within them in the morning and the evenings" [24:36]

And All good belongs to Allah, creator of the heavens and the Earth. 

The Promise of Allah

The Promise of Allah By: Omar Sulieman

You can spend days talking about all the awesome things that will be granted to the people of jannah, but what have I done to deserve Jannah? Have you done anything that would stop you from getting to jannah?

To keep this dream alive in us and our actions, we have to think of jannah and never lose sight of the goal. When you’re thinking of Allah, you will find your way.

Goal-Doubt=REALITY

Quran Speaks

Quran Speaks: A Message for Humanity By: Nouman Ali Khan

Why do people do shirk?  (Surah Yunus)

People who practice shirk, don’t own up to what they do and don’t want to be responsible. Instead of facing your lord, you can just blame it on someone else, you don’t have to realize the reality that one day you will be accounted for what you have done. This is false “Shafa’a” which is creating connections or intermediaries with God, you don’t have to worry about getting in trouble or doing any good because you will not be accountable for it. As Muslims we know that one day we have to answer to Allah and we will have true “Shafa’a” because Muhammad will be able to intermediate for us, and this is a job ordained by Allah.

What is the Quran?

The Quran is heart penetrating advice. Shirk is the worse disease of the heart that someone can get. The Quran is medicine for the heart and guidance from Muhammad (sws) is to make sure we won’t get sick again. So we need to stop talking about the Quran, talk Quran. 

Discovering Your Role

Discovering your Role By: Omar Suleiman

There are three things human beings incline towards:

1)       Belief in Allah

2)       Adil, justice

3)       Compassion

When you are born you have an inclination towards all of these things, we are born with them. Naturally we want a God, we want justice and we want to show compassion.

There was a two year old Chinese girl who got hit by two vans, there were 18 bystanders and they did nothing, minutes later her mother comes to scrape her off the streets.

This is a decay of humanity, not having compassion is not human, and this is a sign of the day of judgment, people will begin to lose their inclination to justice, compassion and Allah. What does this have to do with your role? First, every human being is born with good and second, we all have the ability to do good things. Everything has something good in it, even shaitan because he strengthens the heart of a believer. Allah does not want us to be super stars and everyone is not going to be a sheikh or an imam, Allah wants us to be good Muslims, the Muslims we were born to be and within our capability. This will get you into Jannah. And a man came to the Prophet (sws) and asked him, what is the secret, like how do I get into Jannah, the Prophet (sws) answered (not exact word but in my summary): 1) give sadaqah (the man persisted, what if I am poor?) 2) enjoin what good and forbid what’s evil (he persisted, what if I am not a big shot and have the mean to do so) 3) teach the ignorant the truth (he persisted, what if I am ignorant) 4) stand with the oppressed (the man persisted, what if I am the one oppressed) 5) Don’t harm people.

The moral of this story is that there is always something for us to do, there is never a time when we can’t do anything we are always capable of doing something. 

Dua of Ibrahim

Dua of Ibrahim By: Muhammad Yunus 

“Abraham was indeed a model, devoutly obedient to Allah, true In Faith, and He joined not gods with Allah.” 16:120

"Our Lord! make us not a (test and) trial for the Unbelievers, but forgive us, Our Lord! for Thou art the Exalted In Might, the Wise." there was indeed In them an excellent example for you to follow,- for those whose hope is In Allah and In the Last Day. but if any turn away, truly Allah is free of all wants, worthy of all praise. 60:5-6

"O My Lord! bestow wisdom on me, and join me with the righteous; "Grant me honourable mention on the tongue of truth among the latest (generations);"Make me one of the inheritors of the Garden of Bliss; "Forgive My father, for that He is among those astray; "And let me not be In disgrace on the Day when (men) will be raised up;- "The Day whereon neither wealth nor sons will avail, "But only He (will prosper) that brings to Allah a sound heart;” 26:83-89